Dear Mom and Dad,
First let me start out by saying that I love y'all with my whole
heart and I am so glad y'all raised me the way you did but I need to tell you
some things that are really hard to admit to you. I don’t know what I’m doing
with my life; I just need your support as I grow and learn. I have really really
bad anxiety and I never told you how bad it was until now. This isn't because of you I just didn't want you to worry about me because in your eyes I am so happy. No parent needs to see their child suffer with loving themselves, so I didn't tell you. I'm sorry for not telling you but I stand behind my decision to not tell you. I used to hurt
myself but y'all never knew or maybe you did I don’t know. I’m trying so hard to
get better... I really am. I want to be the happy person y'all see me as but
it’s a process, a very long process. Last night I had a panic attack just because I got rid of the
pictures of my high school friends. That isn’t the reaction a person should
have when thinking about their high school friends. I don’t know how to get out
of toxic relationships. I don’t date because I don’t love myself enough, so please
be patient with me about that part of my life. I’ll someone someday but I have to learn to love myself
first. I have gotten a lot better about seeing myself in a positive light but now you know why I am so adamant about
not talking to guys. I need to focus on myself first. Also, I am a Christian
but I don’t like sermons. I'm sorry I just can't focus during them because I feel like I am being lectured/reprimanded and I get very
little out of that. I talk to God all the time but I just don't like going to church; you need to understand this. Finally, I am not my brother. I work hard but sometimes I don't know what I am doing. Sometimes I choose to go out instead of studying but it because I am trying to figure out myself. I am also not my sister. Please please please stop comparing me to her. I will never be as perfect and put together as her. Stop favoring her because that makes everything so much worst. She may have her life organized but that doesn't give her a free life pass on normal responsibilities like getting a summer job. I love you guys. You have taught me so much. Thanks for teaching me to laugh at the small things and teaching me that sarcasm is the best way to diffuse the tension. Thank you for always loving me and providing a great life for me. Thank you for trusting me to make my own life choices.
With all my love, your daughter
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